Meditationen am Gnadenstuhl: Friday, July 15, 2022 - Proverbs 5

Friday, July 15, 2022

Proverbs 5

[1] My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding,

[2] that you may keep discretion,

and your lips may guard knowledge.

[3] For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

[4] but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

[5] Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol;

[6] she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

[7] And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

[8] Keep your way far from her,

and do not go near the door of her house,

[9] lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

[10] lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

[11] and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

[12] and you say, “How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!

[13] I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

or incline my ear to my instructors.

[14] I am at the brink of utter ruin

in the assembled congregation.”

[15] Drink water from your own cistern,

flowing water from your own well.

[16] Should your springs be scattered abroad,

streams of water in the streets?

[17] Let them be for yourself alone,

and not for strangers with you.

[18] Let your fountain be blessed,

and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

[19] a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

be intoxicated always in her love.

[20] Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman

and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

[21] For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD,

and he ponders all his paths.

[22] The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,

and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.

[23] He dies for lack of discipline,

and because of his great folly he is led astray. (ESV)

Wisdom Teaches You to Avoid Adultery

Proverbs chapter five is divided into four sections. Proverbs 5:1–6: First warning against adultery. Proverbs 5:7–14: Second warning against adultery. Proverbs 5:15–20: Encouragement to marital faithfulness. Proverbs 5:21–23: Yahweh's examination and punishment of the sinner. The chapter opens with a similar appeal to the son from Solomon to first be attentive to the father's teaching by careful listening, then warns the son to guard his lips in order to be discreet of speech and take wisdom's lesson to heart. And, of course, we can flip this all around as advice to a daughter regarding her chastity as well.

What is this warning about the lips of a forbidden woman? Is it the literal physical kiss of seduction? Or is it that her lips deceive? It is both. The forbidden woman is literally the "strange" woman in the Hebrew language. So are all unknown women the problem, and are they to be avoided at all costs? Perhaps men should all be monks to stay on the safe side! Of course not. "Strange" or "unknown" simply means any woman that does not belong with the man she seduces. In other words, this verse affirms that marriage is between a single man and a single woman. Any relationship outside that natural order is adulterous. The adulteress is bitter and leads a path of death, wandering left or right (see yesterday’s post) without even being aware. So women are the problem then? No again! It takes two to tango. The father cautions the son against sinful behavior with women, and that includes looking with eyes of lust and listening to the words of those who would lead him astray.

This is the basis of the second warning (v.7-14). He should be discerning and not even put himself into the position to be tempted. Verses 9-10 imply that if the son engages in adulterous behavior, his wisdom and work will no longer benefit him and his family but others. Who are the others? That is unclear. Certainly, it means the object of his lust and anyone else who takes advantage of him in the vulnerable state in which he has placed himself. Verses 11-12 give us the image of, perhaps, suffering from an STD but certainly also the suffering of the unrepentant on the last day as they are judged. It may also refer to the guilt over sin, and the realization that his reputation is ruined among the people were his hypothetical adultery to become public knowledge. That is to say, adultery (and all sin) can have terrible repercussions in this life and the next. So the wise do not even allow themselves to be put into the position of temptation. Men, check your eyes and tongue. Guard your thoughts and words. Do not put yourself into that flirtatious situation with a woman that is not your wife. It may seem like harmless fun. It may make you feel better about yourself. But it can, if taken too far, lead to ruin. "I can handle myself; it is only harmless flirting." Maybe so. I'm sure many men then fall into sinful behavior felt just that way at first. But the wise discern the danger and do not even let themselves be placed into such situations in the first place.

This is countercultural! The world says to assert your sexuality. Flirting is child's play. Just looking is harmless. If no one is hurt, what’s the problem? Once again, the fool listens to the world. The wise discern its lies and stand firm in the wisdom of the word of the Lord. The benefits of marital faithfulness are many, as Luther tells us in the large catechism:

“Significantly he [God] established it as the first of all institutions, and he created man and woman differently (as is evident) not for lewdness but to be true to each other, be fruitful, beget children, and support and bring them up to the glory of God. God has therefore most richly blessed this estate above all others.… For it is of the highest importance to him that persons be brought up to serve the world, promote knowledge of God, godly living, and all virtues, and fight against wickedness and the devil.…

It is not an exceptional estate, but the most universal and the noblest, pervading all Christendom and even extending throughout all the world.…

Parents and magistrates have the duty of so supervising youth that they will be brought up to decency and respect for authority and, when they are grown, will be married honorably in the fear of God. Then God will add his blessing and grace so that men may have joy and happiness in their married life.” (LC I 207–8, 210, 218).

It is a great help when trying to discern what is wise concerning matters of sexual desire to remember that the one man, one woman model for God-pleasing relationships is also the model God has given us for our relationship to Him: Christ is the bridegroom, and the Church is His bride. Solomon has painted a picture of the road leading to and from adultery. Wisdom shows us what sin looks like, why we sin, and where sin leads. Wisdom also shows us the lasting intimacy and deep joy of God-pleasing relationships between humans, as well as between God and man – modeled after the perfection of Jesus Christ's love and obedience toward the Father.